1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a WENCH WAR!!
So, during a recent perusal of Twitland, I came across a blog post from a good friend of mine, Carrie (Life on the Slow Lane), regarding her top 5 actors. So I asked her about it.
She said she'd recently had the privilege of being let loose on another blogger friend of hers, Mitch's (twodoughnuts), page to educate the world on her top 5 songs. Naturally, this didn't end too well and resulted in her choices being slated upon Mitch's return lol. However, something good did come of it - Blog Wars!
So now Carrie and Mitch are warring it out via blog, challenging each other at their top 5s. It's actually quite funny! So, needless to say, I wanted in... But rather than me joining a feud with someone I don't even know, Carrie has gallantly agreed to take on a second separate challenge.
Behold, Wench Wars!
And to start this new battle of the wenches, what better than Disney? Although, there's so many avenues to consider regarding the House of Mouse that we've decided to categorise, starting with:
So, without further ado, here are my Top 5!
Warning: contains spoilers for those of you from another Disney-barren planet...
5. Hades (Hercules, 1997)
For someone who's literally a God, a God of the Underworld no less, he's not the best villain in the world but, in my opinion, that makes him one of the best! For one thing, he's lazy as Hell (excuse the pun), always delegating the dirty work to his little minions, Pain and Panic, and then wondering why it's not executed to perfection - Pain? Panic? Clue's in the names dude. But does he learn and then take on the responsibility himself? No, he gets Meg to flutter her eyes and trip over her own feet... like, seriously?! This doesn't work either, shocker!! So, finally, he goes after... the Titans!
I won't go into the rest but, basically, Hades is a lazy-arse who doesn't like to get his hands dirty and is only worried about his hair. Although he's an absolutely rubbish villain when it comes to executing effective... well... villainy, you've gotta admit, he's got delegation down to a tee! Plus he's just a generally hilarious guy, you can't argue with that...
4. Scar (The Lion King, 1994)
If ever there was a villain to relate to, Scar is definitely it! Ok, so maybe I don't quite relate to the wanting to kill my brother and nephew to become king part, but there's certainly something relatable there. For starters, he's so melodramatic it's untrue, he's definitely got flair! Not to mention I can totally empathise with being "surrounded by idiots" (although mine's in a good way, I don't think Scar is quite as keen). But really, to get away with what he did for as long as he did, that takes cunning, especially that fuelled by jealousy, and it's a good shade on him...
3. Gaston (Beauty and the Beast, 1991)
"No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's as big of a dick as Gaston..."
Oh... are they not the words? My bad. But seriously though, you can't exactly disagree with that right? He's cocky, chauvinistic, narcissistic, egocentric, and just generally rude and annoying. Top that off with a prejudiced hatred of anything remotely different or threatening to his way of life, and you've got one heck of a villain. Why? Because it's scary to think that a villain like Gaston could actually exist in our world... I definitely think people need to re-evaluate who the real Beast is in this film...
2. Mother Gothel (Tangled, 2010)
Where do I begin with Mother Gothel?! She's the ultimate backstabbing bitch, quite literally. The only thing worse than an evil villain is an evil villain pretending to be nice... albeit badly. I don't even know how Rapunzel couldn't see through her fakeness? I blame Stockholm Syndrome personally, even if she didn't know Gothel was actually her captor and not her Mother.
Her snide remarks and victim-of-a-rebellious-teenager routine make her one of the most annoying of the Disney villains - I often find myself listening to her and thinking "just shut up already" or simply "urgh!", both of which with an exaggerated roll of the eyes.
Some pretty decent choices up til this point, don't you think? Carrie's gonna have a hard time beating these baddies... BUT there's still one more to go, and I really think this last villain sits at the very top of the pillar of evil!
1. Prince Hans (Frozen, 2013)
How could I not put the thirteenth prince of the Southern Isles at the top of my list of villainy?! I'll admit, it was a close call but the dealbreaker was the fact that he's the only Disney villain I've ever been truly hoodwinked by!! Throughout the film, I was convinced that the villain was the Duke of Weaseltown (ok, it's Weselton) but then, as my sister would say... MISDIRECTION!!!
Anna makes her way back to the palace, and you think maybe the kiss won't work because she doesn't really love Hans? She's been on this epic journey with Kristoff after all; Hans will be upset but he'll be ok in the end... No... Instead of that more light-hearted storyline, he out-and-out tells her he never loved her and leaves her to die, whilst plotting to kill her sister and take the crown for himself. What?!! If I remember rightly, I think I was actually shouting at my TV by this point...
So there you have it folks, my Top 5 (and the only relevant Top 5) Disney Villains! I hope you enjoyed the read, let me know what you think in the comments, on my Facebook Page, or on Twitter!
Your move Carrie! X