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Technical Difficulties

How did we survive without technology?
This is a question that I regularly hear, mostly regarding phones and computers, social media and Google, and usually from - but not limited to - Gen X folk (because, let's face it, they lived without  this type of technology for quite some time, longer than us millennials/Gen Y-ers anyway). With today's technologies, we're able to connect with people half way across the world with the click of a button, or find the answers to questions within minutes without having to carry around a massive encyclopedia, and most of us are now at the point where our lives seem to erupt into chaos if the internet goes down! However, this all pales into insignificance when you think about the advancements in medical technology; a lot of people really wouldn't be able to survive without it, myself included (bit of a morbid notion, I know, but it's true!), and this winter has really brought this thought to the forefront of my mind.

Country life and power cuts go hand-in-hand, so why we still haven't invested in some form of generator I'll never know? Especially since I'm even more dependent on electrickery than I ever was. However, this winter has been especially bad, and not just because of the weather either. Last weekend saw a passing visit from the lovely Ciara - storm Ciara - and, surprisingly for us, the power only went off for around an hour! (I'm hoping that Dennis will be just as courteous this weekend...) But December was a particularly bad month for power cuts, even without the storms. We've had powerline maintenance, generator cables stolen (a knock-on-effect of the powerline maintenance), and even a house fire in a neighbouring village on New Year's Eve!! I felt so awful for that family...

In any other circumstance, I'd really appreciate a power cut from time to time; being disconnected from technology for a while, reading, writing or playing games by candlelight, listening to the weather outside, just allowing some enforced calmness and family time into my life without the distraction of devices - because a power cut seems to be the only way to get the siblings to actually get off their phones or consoles and talk to each other sometimes! And, a few years ago, this is what would happen. But now? Ok, these things still do happen but a power cut now causes me irrational amounts of anxiety to go with it. Whilst most of my machinery has around eight hours battery life, you can never really know how long a power cut is going to last. My Dad did point out to me last weekend that "in this day and age, the likelihood of the power being off for longer than twelve hours is slim", but like I said, my anxiety surrounding this sort of thing is highly irrational and this is actually counterproductive too.

When I get anxious, the first thing to be affected is my breathing (and my lungs are shot anyway so this really doesn't help). This, in turn, actually makes me feel like I need my ventilator more than I usually would but, because the power is off, I also want to conserve the battery life of my ventilators until absolutely necessary! So, rather than enjoying a power cut, I end up feeling rather ill because of it, as well as annoyed at myself for getting worked up about relatively nothing. I also get really uncomfortable as my air mattress deflates which also doesn't help my breathing or mood. Worse still is when all this happens at night. I'm unable to call out very loudly on my ventilator, and the monitor for upstairs switches off, so my parents then have to take it in turns sleeping in my room in case I need moving because of my painful positioning, or worse, in case my ventilator runs out before morning and needs switching over to my second machine. So, not only does it affect me, it also affects my family; my parents lose sleep, and my sister also gets nervous about my wellbeing so sits with me if the power is off during the day.

So yes, living without technology can be hard sometimes, but living without electricity when you have high dependency on it to manage your disability is unnerving and stressful, and affects more people than you realise...


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